If you think you might have a problem with porn, check out these 3 questions to ask yourself to find out more.
#1 Do you use porn to feel better? to escape reality?
Porn addiction isn’t about the sex we see on the screen, it’s about feeling good. It’s our way of escaping the current moment so that we can feel better. In that current moment (aka reality) we might be feeling down, we might be feeling bored, whatever. Whatever it is, the idea of looking at porn seems like a better alternative.
When we feel down or anything short of ok, our brain goes to work to make fix that. It knows that you want to feel better, so it starts giving you ideas to look at porn.
Side note, those “random” thoughts & fantasies you have, you know those porn scenes that you replay in your head? That’s your brain trying to entice you to look at porn. That’s how it works to get you to look at porn.
In any case, it doesn’t know that porn isn’t what you really want, it only knows that you feel bad, and porn feels good.
That’s it.
It’s 1 + 1 = 2.
If you’re using porn to escape from reality, you might be addicted to porn.
#2 Do you look at porn on a regular basis?
In a weeks’ time how often are you looking at porn? From week to week do you use it on a regular basis?
Do you look at it at similar times as well? I know for me Saturday mornings was “my time” and I’d start anticipating it as the week went on. As this became a “thing” it became harder to stop because I knew Saturday morning was coming. It became a mental hurdle that I had to overcome.
If there is any regularity to it then you might be addicted to porn.
#3 Can you stop looking at it?
Honestly, can you go for a period of time without looking at it.
What are the thoughts and feelings that come up with you think about never looking at it again?
Does it cause you stress? Are you trying to rationalize it?
For this one, I like to use what I call the orange juice test. If I asked you to give up orange juice for a year, how hard would that be for you?
I’m assuming it wouldn’t be that hard. You wouldn’t be craving it, you wouldn’t be desiring it, you’d just give it up. You might occasionally think it would be nice to have a glass with breakfast, but you wouldn’t have a hard time not drinking it for a year.
Now take that same test and apply it to looking at porn. Can you stop looking at porn for a year? How about 3 months? How difficult would that be?
If that would be difficult then you might be addicted to porn.
Think about your answers to those questions and consider the idea that you might be addicted to porn. When I say that, don’t stress, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
It just means you might be addicted to porn.
That’s not a problem (even if your brain thinks it is), it’s just something you might want to change and that is entirely possible for you.
I know when I first considered it, it freaked me out. I was in fully on panic mode because I thought there was something wrong with me.
I wish I had someone tell me back then that it wasn’t a problem.
Unfortunately, I had quite the opposite. I had everyone telling me how bad it was, and I NEEDED to get it fixed ASAP.
I couldn’t have felt more broken than I did in that moment.
If you can relate to this, reach out and let me know, hit me up on IG or better yet, book a free session with me. I can show you how coaching saved me and how it can save you too.
