Let’s Talk About Triggers!

You know what they are, you know what triggers you:

• The woman dancing provocatively on TikTok.
• That sex scene in the movie last night, making you uncomfortable with your wife sitting right next to you.
• The woman walking down the street, making you turn your head for another look.

Plus, a billion other things.

With the world the way it is, it’s easy to think,

“Porn is everywhere. Women are everywhere, and the way they are dressed? Come on! I don’t have a chance!”

Porn feels like it’s thrown in your face daily.

It’s like, without warning or preparation, you’re exposed to sexual content.

Part of you loves it and wants to keep looking, grabbing as much as you can, especially if you haven’t watched porn in a while.

You feel like this is your only chance.

You know exactly what I’m talking about—that sense of urgency: “I better do this quickly because this is my only chance!”

But there’s another part of you that freaks out. You’re being exposed to (unwillingly) the very thing you’ve been fighting so hard to get out of your life.

All the alarms go off at once!

It’s overwhelming and scary.

You want to stop, but it feels impossible because you want it SO BADLY.

And if you don’t act right away, it stays stuck in your head. You’re triggered, and you believe the only way to untrigger is to watch porn.

It feels like there’s no other way.

This sucks, especially when you’re trying so hard to break free, and even more so when you’ve already made some progress.

So, what do you do?

You try to block it out, you get porn blockers on every device.

You avoid movies or shows that might have sex scenes. You shield your eyes when you’re out, and you avoid going places that might be triggering.

In short, you rearrange your entire life just to avoid anything that might set you off.

You’re constantly on edge, avoiding, shielding, and being leery of everything. It’s exhausting.

It’s no way to live.

So, what’s the solution?

You can’t avoid triggers; you can’t block out the entire world.

The only thing you can do is change how you respond.

Right now, you’re Reacting to the world, and you want to learn how to Respond to the world.

My first coach taught me, “You want to learn how to Respond, not React” and I see that in so many parts of recovery and in the world.

You want to learn how to RESPOND to triggers.

So, the first thing you’ll want to understand is that, this is a skill to learn, just like everything else.

And just like everything else, you have to train yourself.

Right now, you’re trained to react the way that you do, and you want to learn the skill of responding the way that you want to.

You’re here and you have to get there.

I say this simply, because people will see this as a huge mountain to climb. They’ll say it’s impossible because that’s all they’ve done their entire life, and they think that they have no other choice.

That’s the mistake. Don’t fall for it.

You CAN learn this. It’s like riding a bike. You’re going to fall on your ass all the time until you learn how to ride. Then it’s automatic and you don’t even think about it anymore.

So that’s the mental part.

What to Do in the Moment?

When you catch yourself in a triggered state, just notice it. Recognize what’s happening, and try not to panic. Take a deep breath.

Slow your breathing as much as you can. Focus on feeling your heartbeat—put your hand on your chest if that helps. Acknowledge that you’re “in the moment.”

Next: Get out of there!
Wherever you are, physically move. Leave the scene. It’s hard to fight a trigger when it’s right in front of you.

Get outside if possible, get some air, some sun—just find a safer space.

From here, combine feeling and thinking.

Notice how your body is responding.

What’s your heartbeat like?

Is your skin warm?

What does your left ear feel like?

Do a physical top-to-toe inventory, checking in on each part of yourself.

While doing that, remind yourself why you want to stop watching porn.

• Is it for your family? Picture them, think about why you love them.
• Is it for yourself? Visualize who you want to be, and how that version of you handles triggers.

Shift your focus. Concentrate on the things you want in life, not what you’re avoiding.

You’re retraining your brain here.

This is where neuroplasticity happens!

Right now, you’re creating new pathways, a new mindset, a new you.

I hope this helps you and if you want to learn more, come talk to me.

Click the I Want To Quit Porn button below to schedule a call.