To stop feeling shame you have to make it make sense in your head and then be willing to feel shame so that it’s not a problem for you.
In other words, you want to stop feeling shame because it’s uncomfortable right?
But if it wasn’t uncomfortable then you wouldn’t care if you felt it or not. You just be like ok, I’m feeling shame whatever.
So you want to grow your ability to feel shame so that it’s not a problem for you because one of the biggest issues with feeling shame is that it drives you right back to watching porn.
Most people use porn to escape shame even though they are feeling shame because they watched porn.
You want to get to a place where feeling shame isn’t a problem that makes you go watch porn.
So let’s learn some new ways of processing shame so it doesn’t drive you back to porn.
The first thing to understand is that shame is just an emotion. It’s no different than happiness or joy, it just feels different.
And because it’s an emotion it means that it is caused by your thoughts.
You’re thinking a thought that is creating shame for you.
It might be as simple as I feel ashamed because I watch porn.
But you want to identify the thought that is creating shame because you need to see it to understand it.
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Your thoughts create your emotions.
Not the thing you did.
Watching porn DOES NOT make you feel shame.
Watching porn is a neutral thing, it’s like walking down the street or riding your bike.
It is just something you did.
You have thoughts about it and those thoughts create the emotion of shame.
A lot of people watch porn and are not ashamed of it at all because they have different thoughts and beliefs about it.
You want to understand when you’re feeling shame that you’re just having emotion that is caused by the thoughts in your head.
If you didn’t have those thoughts or didn’t believe those thoughts you wouldn’t feel shame at all.
So when you feel shame, tell yourself, I am feeling shame right now because of a thought that I am thinking.
