When you want to quit porn you have to study your patterns so that you can change your patterns.
One pattern you have that you’re not aware of is your pattern for relapses.
What happens when you relapse?
I know from my experience, I would have a relapse and immediately I would be overwhelmed with guilt and shame.
The guilt and shame would hit me like a freight train and it would crush me.
I never hated myself more than those in those moments.
Then I would beat myself up emotionally and tell myself i need to be more disciplined
Ultimately though what ended up happening was I would go right back to watching porn.
I would be feeling lousy and hating myself but then I’d start to think about porn again.
And I would tell myself the #1 lie that kept me stuck repeating this same pattern over and over and that was
I already looked, I might as well keep going.
And then I’d watch porn for hours or even days after that.
If it was a weekend, I’d watch it all weekend.
It wasn’t until I became aware of this pattern that I was able to break it.
What used to be a huge emotional event that kept me stuck watching porn for days turned into “no big deal”
Relapses & slips became no big deal because I knew they didn’t mean anything.
I stopped hating myself and I started looking at relapses & slips as Data instead of drama.
Why did I go left instead of right?
I used that data to prevent the next one.
When I became aware of the pattern, I changed it and ultimately stopped watching porn.
