When people first start to recognize that porn is becoming a problem in their lives they often go through a few mental hurdles before they start the process of getting help.
One of the things that most don’t recognize is that porn is not the problem. This might seem illogical, and you might emphatically believe that porn is the problem.
You might think that once you solve the porn problem that everything will automatically get better.
This is understandable and I know I had those same thoughts myself in the beginning.
What we don’t often see is that porn is not the problem at all, but it is just a symptom of the problem. It is what we’re using to treat the problem. It is the salve to treat the wound.
The problem we’re treating is that we cannot face life and therefore must escape it by using porn.
Life is too difficult for us to not use it.
This is what we know and believe which is why we use porn to begin with.
If we could face life and not escape it then we wouldn’t need porn or alcohol or drugs or smoking or food or social media or tv or the million other things we use.
It might seem simplistic and even cliché, but it is the truth.
Once we learn how to handle these things then we will no longer use those things to escape it.
That is our quest and our journey.
Getting free of porn is about addressing the core issues within ourselves vs anything external.
This is why porn blockers and abstaining from porn (looking at you #nofap) won’t fully work.
You might get free of it; you might stop looking at porn but until you address the core issues, you’ll always be escaping them by using something if not porn.
I’m not saying don’t use blockers or abstain, I’m saying address the core issues primarily. Blocking and abstaining will help you gain ground but also be addressing the core issues, so the overall transition is easier.
Now that you know this, your job is to find and address those core issues!
