Is it too hard to quit porn?

Is quitting porn too hard?

I was messaging on WhatsApp with someone who was interested in quitting porn.

He tells me he’s been trying for over 10 years and has some successes but hasn’t figured it how to get it fully out of his life.

In our conversations he’s mentioned that it’s really hard to resist urges and he doesn’t think he’s strong enough.

I can really relate to that because for many years I also believed that it was too hard to quit porn.

I used to bang to my head against the wall and cry out “Why can’t I stop this??!?!?” and the only conclusion I came to was, I just wasn’t strong enough.

Eventually I did figure it out and quit watching but here’s what happens when we think it’s too hard.

If you think it’s too hard…

  • You’ll make it harder for yourself by self-sabotaging.
  • You’ll doubt your ability to quit.
  • You’ll make it easier to stop trying, you’ll talk yourself into it.
  • You’ll make excuses about Why it’s too hard (woman shouldn’t dress that way, porn is everywhere, etc)
  • You’ll look for evidence everywhere to make it truer. You’ll ask others about how hard it is for them; you’ll look for other people who also believe that “it’s too hard”.

Essentially, if you’re thinking it’s too hard then you’ve already started creating a belief that it is too hard AND you’ll look for all the evidence to confirm that.

This is how our human brains work.

When we start to believe something new, we look for evidence to support it. At that point, there is ALREADY a bias in our thinking. There’s already one answer we are looking for.

Just look at this statement -> It’s too hard to quit porn.

That pre-supposes that it’s hard to begin with.

This isn’t to say it is or it isn’t but when we say or think that we are coming from a place that believes that it IS too hard.

What do I do, I can’t just snap my fingers and not think that or say that or believe that when all I have is evidence that it is true? I have 10 years of experience failing to quit porn and that tells me that it is too hard to quit porn.

It’s true you can’t just snap your fingers and stop thinking about something that you believe in.

You also can’t just start thinking the opposite, that it’s not hard at all and it’s easy.

Your internal BS detector will throw that out immediately.

Here’s what you can do, you can start just by opening up to the possibility that it isn’t too hard.

Right now, you believe that it’s too hard and that belief is at 100%.

We want to crack that open and break it up so that there is at least another possibility.

We want to knock it down as much as we can from 100%.

If we could get that down to just 99.999%, that is a good enough place to start.

You do that by asking yourself questions.

What if it wasn’t too hard to quit porn?

What would that look like?

What would it look like if I could quit porn?

What would it look like if I was strong enough?

What strengths or skills would I need to become strong enough to quit porn?

By asking yourself questions, you start to disrupt your belief.

You start to open up to the possibility that it isn’t too hard and when that happens, you’re already on your way.

Quitting porn is about blowing up our old beliefs (it’s too hard to quit porn) and creating new ones (it wasn’t that hard – says most of my clients after they quit porn in coaching)

Why is this important? (i.e. because this all sounds like BS!)

It’s important because if you are thinking that it’s too hard you already believe that to be true.

If you believe that to be true, then all of your efforts will be sabotaged by your porn addicted brain.

Has anyone ever quit porn while believing that its too hard?

Has anyone ever said, Yeah, it’s too hard to quit porn and btw I quit porn last week?

No, never.

What you say and think about porn, porn addiction and your relationship with it IS important.

When you start to change what you say, what you think and what you believe about it, that’s when change happens.

That is opening up to new possibilities.

That is creating new beliefs.

That is how you quit porn.

If you are struggling with porn and want to get free, come talk to me, I want to hear your story and tell you about about coaching. 

It changed my life forever and the best part is, I QUIT PORN!! 

This link here, takes you to my calendar too book a call. 

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Hi, I'm Matt Smith

I help men free themselves from porn addiction, change their thoughts, and repair their relationships.