Quitting Porn: What you don’t know you don’t know.

When you’re trying to quit porn, it’s what you don’t know that you don’t know, that will slow you down and potentially have you quitting altogether.

In the case of porn addiction, because it’s so challenging, this mountain that you have to climb is so vast that you’ll want to quit quitting probably 1000 times before you finally accomplish it

Here is what I wish I not just knew, but really really understood from day 1.

  • I had to fall on my face 1000 times before realizing that simply resisting urges, wasn’t working and wasn’t ever going to work (for me).
    • There’s this thing called Allowing which is the complete opposite and is a skill that takes time to get better at (i.e. expect to fail a lot at first).
  • I had to learn that keeping any porn on any of my systems was going to eventually cause me to slip.
  • I had to learn about 12 step meetings. I had to learn that they’re an awesome resource & community that I can turn to at any time.
  • I also had to learn that telling my self I’m addicted to porn everyday does not work for me (nor will it ever)
  • I had to learn that fishing almost always leads me to porn.
    • Fishing is where you want to see something but you don’t want to look at porn so you might browse and just hope something show up, which it always does when you’re searching.
  • I had to learn that I couldn’t do it alone and I needed help.
  • I had to learn there is NO SHAME in any of this (that was a HUGE lesson that was really DIFFICULT to learn)
  • I had to learn that watching porn does not make you a bad person.
    • I had to learn that I and only I am responsible for watching porn. I can’t blame my blockers, I can’t blame women for how they dress and saying things like it’s too hard, it’s not fair does not get any close (I had to learn how to own it!!)
  • I had to learn how to handle stress and boredom better because it’s those things that ultimately lead you to porn.
    • If you didn’t have those in your life, your porn usage would stop completely or be severely diminished.
  • I had to learn that porn addiction is a problem in your head (the thoughts you think the belief your belief) more than anything else at all.
  • I had to learn that when I finally finally quit, when I crossed over to the other side that what really happened was, I finally learned that I didn’t need it anymore.

All these lessons plus a ton more, I had to learn along the way until I finally got there.

You list of lessons to learn, while similar will be different. For that reason, no one can write a perfect 10 step list that guarantees you freedom from porn.

It’s a personal journey and you’ll have similar and different lessons to learn.

Some things that worked for me, won’t work for you and vice versa.

The most important thing is that you do not give up. You never quit!

Figure out what works for you and build on that.

Don’t see “failure” as failure, see “failure” as a something ou had to learn in order to get there.

Keep up the AWESOME work my friends, you are closer than you think, I guarantee it!

Have a great day everyone!

Do you want to learn how my coaching program can help you get free of porn in under 3 months?

Jump on a call with me and let’s talk about it.

No pressure, no shady sales tactics, just you and I talking about porn addiction.

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I know because I’ve been there and now I coach men through their porn addiction. Ready to change your life? Download my Top 3 Tips For Quitting Porn.

Hi, I'm Matt Smith

I help men free themselves from porn addiction, change their thoughts, and repair their relationships.