Porn addicts have a lot of options available to them during their recovery process which is great but can be overwhelming when trying to decide which to choose.

Personally, I think it’s awesome that there are so many choices, but I often get asked why coaching vs therapy vs 12 step meetings vs just doing 50 pushups?

Which one is the best & which one should I choose?

When someone asks, my default answer is always, the one that works for you is the best one.

All these options work, they’re all great and they all work just perfectly fine, but the problem is that they don’t all work for everyone.

Not everyone is going to be able to do the necessary steps of whichever program if they don’t believe in it or don’t like it.

Which is why I say, you have to try a few different ones to see what works for you. I think figuring that out is a big part of this journey.

By doing this you learn so much about yourself, like which is the best method for me, where do I learn & grow the most. Where do I see the best results for what I’m looking for?

Now, I spent way too many years fighting this addiction trying to figure out how to stop watching porn and during that time I tried a lot of things.

I tried multiple therapies with multiple therapists.

I tried multiple 12 Step recovery programs.

I tried every app and every blocker that was available.

I tried every program, pdf and whatever else I could sign up for that even gave me a glimmer of hope that I could stop watching porn.

I tried everything but NOTHING WORKED!

Oh yeah, I got some results here and there. A month here or 2 weeks there but nothing lasted, I always tripped up and found myself back in the pit of misery and shame at the hands of porn.

Nothing worked but then I found Coaching and Coaching was it!

Coaching was the thing that got me to stop watching porn.

Coaching was the thing that got me to stop watching porn and it is the thing I use now to help other guys do the same.

Coaching worked for me and when I look at the reasons why, I come up with the following points…

Coaching is logical.

In my past life I was a software engineer for 20 years, so I like code and systems and logic. Logic to me makes sense. When I was looking to get free of porn, I was using logic to try to solve it, I was trying to figure out my own programming to understand why I did the things I did and why I felt the way I did.

The methodology used in my brand of coaching is very logical. It makes sense and is very much just common sense.

I can see why I’m having urges and feel empowered to make the decision to not watch porn.

Coaching has action items.

Next I like coaching is because it gave me actionable items to do right away.

When I was in therapy and I’m not knocking therapy because I actually really love it, but I’d have a 45 min session every other week and there’d be nothing to do.

We’d talk a lot about my life to understand things which was helpful overall, but I didn’t walk out of there with an action plan for really anything that could stop me from watching porn.

When I was in a relationship AND fighting porn at the same time, I couldn’t tell my partner that I or we rather, just have to put up with watching porn until this therapy thing kicked in, I needed something that was going to stop the bleeding right now and that’s what I found in coaching.

Also, I was struggling so much from slipping on porn every other day or every few days, I didn’t have the mental energy to sit on a therapist’s couch for 14 months doing a deep dive on my psyche. I just couldn’t focus.

My Coach has been through this before

Next, I chose coaching and my coach because I knew my coach has been through this before.

I knew he experienced what I’m going through, and he made it.

Having that person who had been there and done this was VERY important for me.

You know how you can read all about riding a bicycle and think you really know how to ride a bicycle but until both feet are on the pedals at the same time, you’ll never fully understand it.


When I was thinking of hiring a coach, I assumed he or she would hold me accountable and be an accountability partner. I thought that was part of the program. While I’m sure that’s true for some coaches, that wasn’t the case for mine.

Instead I learned how hold myself accountable through coaching which as someone who was addicted to porn, I obvioulsly sucked at. 


Overall, I learned there are many paths to recover from porn addiction, coaching stood out for its logical approach, actionable steps, experienced guidance, and emphasis on holding mytelf accountable.

For me, it was THE missing piece in my journey to freedom, providing the tools and support I needed to break free from watching porn.

Coaching worked for me and I know it can work for you! 

Are you ready to find out? 


Take the first step towards overcoming porn addiction by booking a session with me today.


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You can be free of porn.

I know because I’ve been there and now I coach men through their porn addiction. Ready to change your life? Download my Top 3 Tips For Quitting Porn.

Hi, I'm Matt Smith

I help men free themselves from porn addiction, change their thoughts, and repair their relationships.