Think about what you get watching porn vs. what you’re not getting.
You get
-it feels good
– it relieves pressure
– it allows you to escape from life and all the things
You feel amazing leading up to it and the seconds during but afterwards it all comes crashing down.
So what does it cost you? And what are the opportunity costs?
Well time, money, relationships are common one’s we’re familiar with
Time: the lead up and the pursuit can go on for hours if not days. Part of gooning I believe is seeing how much time you can stay on that side of it. Whether intentionally or not I think we all know what it’s like to lose time to this thing.
Money: Money spent on subscriptions and similar. Time is money so all the above time equals some cost to you.
Relationships: you’re engaging in watching porn so you’re not spending time on those relationships. Even when you’re with the person in the relationship your brain is likely thinking about porn and when/how you’ll watch it next.
It might even be that it’s blocking you from creating new relationships as well.
You don’t get to experience stress, boredom and anxiety. You’re probably thinking that’s great, I don’t want to feel them anyway and I’m sure that’s true, but just like building immunity, you have to go through the discomfort to develop the strength to handle it.
Your ability to be present: Your mind gets trained to wander to fantasy instead of staying in the moment with real people and real experiences.
Your dopamine gets jacked up. Normal pleasures start feeling boring because your brain is calibrated to artificial highs.
Your trust in yourself. Every time you say you’ll stop and then don’t, you’re teaching yourself that your word doesn’t mean anything. That erosion of self-trust bleeds into everything else.
Your problem-solving skill. Why work through relationship tension or figure out how to connect with your spouse when you can just escape to porn instead? You stop developing the skills to handle real-life challenges.
You lose creative energy That sexual energy that could go toward building something, pursuing goals, or investing in your marriage gets drained into a screen.
Your risk tolerance increases. What started as “just looking” often escalates to riskier content, riskier timing, riskier places. The addiction pushes boundaries you never thought you’d cross.
You model dysfunction. Whether your kids know it or not, they’re learning what normal looks like from watching you. Your relationship with screens and impulse control becomes their template.
Your sleep gets disrupted. Late-night sessions mess with your sleep cycle, leaving you tired and less capable of showing up well the next day.
You lose your edge professionally. Time spent in pursuit, mental energy drained, reduced confidence—it all adds up to performing below your potential at work.
You lose your soul and your peace of mind. You stop being the man you want to be and become someone you barely recognize, someone who sneaks around, makes excuses, and betrays his own values.
It just robs you of everything.
I think the cost is NOT becoming the person you set out to be or ever wanted to be.
What do you think?
